Rethinking Relationships and Love
Nov 29, 2022
Rethinking relationships 🧐
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about relationships and those of you who know me know that I sucked at most of my relationships, if not all of them, especially when it comes to the relationship with myself.
And finally (being 40 and getting the chance to start all over again) I started asking questions instead of acting from conclusions and limited points of view. What a freakin' game changer because the answers that came literally blew my mind and everything has changed.
God - I love the universe so so much and I am eternally grateful for it preparing the stage for me in such a loving and nurturing way to receive something so radically different that most of you will probably think I've lost it - and indeed I have! 🤡
Because you need to loose something to make space for something new, right 😁 - in this case new perceptions and points of view around what love and relationships mean in this reality and if I would actually choose that??!!
The concept of love and commitment that we hold is INSANE, full of expectations and neediness, longing for something that we will never ever get (#conditionedbydisney) and the most cruel thing is that we abandon ourselves to fit into some kind of framework. The reality of relationships nowadays is that you only have ONE relationship and that is with your partner, while having a relationship with yourself gets really complicated.
How much of you have you given up to uphold a relationship?
How much have you made yourself unimportant and insignificant?
How much have you abandoned yourself just to not admit that you are "single" and belong to the crowd of people having a relationship?
How often have you rather accepted a bad relationship instead of being by yourself?
Love in this reality is a sick programming full of judgement and fixed points of view.
It blew my mind that love (as we understand it) can simultaneously exist next to judgment (shouldn't they exclude each other??!).
But you judge how much you love and how much they love you back and if you or they are holding up to expectations (of the partner or society). That feels extremely heavy to me...
Unconditional love then entails that you give all your attention and love to one other person while excluding everyone else, including you (aka you are my one and only - my friends don't matter and I certainly don't matter).
Time for a new paradigm! Don't you think?
What if you would exchange love for gratitude?
Gratitude and judgment cannot exist simultaneously - isn't that a cool revelation?
(I so so underestimated gratitude - damn it's powerful!)
So, just for a second, feel:
What feels lighter
"I love you"
"I am grateful for you"?
What if the feelings that we actually aim for are gratitude, empathy and non-judgment and not love (as we know it in this reality burdened with all the heavy and delusional conditioning)?
What if you would care about yourself so so much that you would not abandon yourself to be in a "loving relationship" but if you would choose to have someone contribute to YOUR life and growth?
What if the next time you meet someone you do not abandon yourself and try to fit into their point of view but ask yourself: Is this person a contributing ADDITION to MY life?
What if you could wholeheartedly say to someone that they are a fun to be around and that you are grateful they are in your life?
Wouldn't that feel so much better, so much lighter?
So if you ask me if I want another loving relationship - the answer is NO!
I choose CREATIONSHIP (#thankyouaccessconsciousness).
I choose to care about myself and what I came here for. I choose to be whole, complete, happy and live life on my own terms AND I choose to have people around me that contribute to my life and growth, that inspire me, that accept and respect me for all of who I am, that I can co-create amazing experiences with and that I can be grateful for and vice versa. If we happen to share the same space, cool. If we don't, also cool.
What if I can uncreate my relationships every day and choose anew and see what feels light today?
How much more is possible that we have not permitted ourselves to see or create because we are stuck in limited points of view?
How much more fulfilling would our interactions be if we could be ourselves truly AND be of contribution to another.
How different of a world would be possible if we would change the way we see and do relationships?